4.27.2011

Relationship and/or Technology?

-Song Lyrics: 
I Love Technology-Napolean Dynamite
Why do you love me
Why do you need me
Always and forever

We met in a chat room
Now our love can fully bloom
Sure, the World Wide Web is great
But you, you make me 'salvivate'

Yes, I love technology
But not as much as you, you see
But I still love technology
Always and forever

Our love is like a flock of doves


Anybody remember, and love Napolean Dynamite as much I did?  A classic!  For some reason when I was writing this post it made me think of that hilarious song he sang to his sweetie LaFawnduh.

Before I had my laptop I spent less time on the net.  I didn't want to be chained to my desk at work then go do the same thing at home.  Now that I have a laptop I can be in the kitchen, on the couch, and anywhere I want to be and still be connected to the Internet.  DVR has made TV time more customizable.  Now I can stockpile a bunch of shows in my play list and pretty much always have something on TV to watch when I want to.  Add to that the fact that now I have a smart phone.  My phone just became a whole lot more interesting to look at and it's literally with me 24/7.  I have apps, e mail and Facebook available to me all the time at home and away from home without even having to open a laptop.

One moment as I stood there in the kitchen watching a DVR'd House Hunters episode, cooking dinner and checking my Facebook news feed while Mj was upstairs playing play station and watching live Baseball streaming from somewhere I don't really understand on his lap top it got me to thinking.  Has technology taken over or should I say taken the place of my relationship?  This is something that I can't help but think about as my stockpile of electronic gadgets has grown and my access to them has increased. 

It's obvious that if there were no TV or Internet our time at home together would look a whole lot different.  Without any distractions all we could do is talk or read.  I don't even know what that would be like.  So clearly technology technically does detract from our interactions but not to it's detriment.   I don't ever feel ignored or disregarded in favor of an i Phone.  Mj enjoys playstation but it's not an obsession.  I've been a victim of that addiction before....and it's not pretty.  I do find that both of us often have our lap tops and/or our phones within reaching distance when we are at home but I don't think it's a bad thing as long as it doesn't become excessive.  When I do feel that I've become too engrossed in blogging or whatever else  I do make the conscious effort to say, "OK, close the lap top and put the phone down."  I really try to be aware of the time I'm spending on technology and not let it become more important then my husband.  We don't have a TV in our bedroom which I think is a good thing.  We always ask each other how was work and how was our day.  I might come home and unwind with my DVR during the busy work week but we usually come together for some cuddle time at some point by the end of the night.  We still talk and enjoy each others company.  We play scrabble, although we do it online!  We play old school Yahtzee.  We watch movies and TV shows together and it's something fun for us to do.  We get out of the house and do things together as well.  While technology time has increased I don't think it's taken away from our relationship in any way.  We still get our quality time in AND we enjoy our outlets that Internet, TV and video games provide.  Like anything else in life it's all about balance.

If I ever felt that I could no longer relate to my spouse, felt a disconnect or became totally annoyed when he needed attention that cut into my technology time there might be a problem.   If I felt that we lived two separate lives at home with each of us entwined in our own respective technologies then it would probably be high time to re evaluate priorities and work on reconnecting.  With us, this has not been an issue.  I don't think you have to choose between the quality of your relationship and technology.  A healthy relationship can balance both.

7 comments :

  1. My husband and I like to have Unplugged nights. We put away our iPhones and laptops and just focus on each other. It really helps since technology plays such a huge role in our lives!

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  2. I've had to refocus my attention once when Big Man became upset when I was on the blogs too much...it wasa shitty time, but I learned from it and we have alot more unplug nights now.

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  3. Since I've had Maya my TV time has been cut by more than a half...I just don't like watching her zoning out in front of the TV so I don't watch it in order to set a good example. And then by the time she's in bed and I can watch it I am fast asleep. My husband is the same way.

    We do have problems staying off of our computers though - the laptop thing is definitely a problem for us...

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  4. I think this is such an important thing to keep tabs on as it's so easy to fall victim to technology and miss out on L-I-F-E.

    I was in an elevator yesterday and 7 out of 8 people were futzing with their phones. I was the sole 8th person that had the wherewithal to tuck it in my purse before stepping on. That totally depressed me.

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  5. Ugh, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I am totally hooked to my iPhone/Twitter/Facebook. My husband is permanently attached to his DS and handheld Playstation. I can't even watch a movie without him playing his video games instead. When we go to dinner we are both on our iPhones and sit in silence. It is pretty disgusting! This post made me reflect a lot.

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  6. I agree w/ you. One of the benefits of having a hubby that travels a lot for work is that I can get my blogging and other online "stuff" out of the way when he's away. That way he has my undivided attention when he's home :)

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