12.15.2010

Love & The Holidays

There is something about the holidays that makes us love being in love.  The chilly air makes you want to cuddle close.  The pretty twinkly lights beckon for someone special to share them with.  The beautiful Christmas songs suggest love and togetherness with lyrics like, "I'll be home for Christmas" and "All I want for Christmas is you."  We see it on TV too.  The Lexus commercial that shows the beautiful wife come out of her equally beautiful home to find a brand new Lexus with a bright red bow wrapped around it.  A gift from her loving husband.  In the Zale's commercial we see the guy dangling a sparkly diamond necklace outside the window for one lucky woman.  This may or may not cause us to turn and smile expectantly at the man sitting beside us.  And we all know that "Every kiss begins with Kay."  How many women have hoped upon hope to find that diamond engagement ring underneath the tree?  A lot of them do because come January newly engaged couples come out in droves to nail down that wedding venue. 

The Christmas tree, holiday decorating, chilly weather, sounds of the season, family bonding and ongoing festivities causes some kind of chemical reaction in our brain that makes us want to love and be loved.  We want someone to get all dressed up for and go to holiday parties with.  Someone to take home to our family.  We take such delight in shopping for our significant other and receiving something special in return.  When the clock strikes 12 am on New Year’s Eve it's just not the same without a date.  Even better if that date is your partner in life and that kiss represents the hope and promise of a fresh new year that you will share and look forward to together.  The holidays are a magical time.  Love and festivities are in the air and we all want someone special to hold onto as we enjoy everything going on around us.

Six years ago right after Thanksgiving I found myself suddenly single after nine years.  It was difficult enough without having it coincide with the full swing of the holidays.  I really wanted to be happy during this time but my life was literally falling apart and I was too busy trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces to be festive.  I took my big sis to the holiday party that year.  It was a blessing in disguise that the relationship ended and I embraced being single and starting fresh.  I love my family but something about the holidays still made me long for companionship and feel like something was missing.  I had a happily single but open to the perfect man attitude all year long but when the holidays rolled around being single suddenly felt depressing and lonely.  The only thing worse was Valentine's day.  My perfect man did come along four holiday seasons later and I now relish the opportunity to share traditions and festivities of such a fun time with my husband.  He was deployed for most of last year but he made it back just in time for Thanksgiving thank goodness because it just wouldn't have been the same without him.   

There are a lot of break ups just prior to Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced this phenomenon.  Sometimes it's just to avoid spending money on a gift for someone you're not really sure if you like all that much and what could be awkward family meet and greets.  For some, being alone is preferable to the false and empty feeling of being mismatched for the holidays and feeling obligated to go through the motions.  There is also the opposite effect.  Engagements and heartfelt proclamations of love when people realize they don't want to spend another holiday without this amazing person in their life.  The holiday season is powerful.  It serves as a lens through which we view our life and our loved ones taking stock of where we are where we have been and where we are going in the new year.  It is a time of reflection, fun, giving and family.  The holidays may not be about falling in love but there is something about this time of year that makes us want that all the same.

10 comments :

  1. I told hubs I would take that lexus from him for Christmas and he laughed at me. lol You're right though, hubs and I usually like each other more around Christmas.

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  2. this was so beautifully written and so true!

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  3. this is so true. i feel exactly the same way. with the passing of my father in october, it does make this particular year quite hard. i so feel heart broken for my mother as I read this post. she has lost her companion and we can't fill the void right now. i do still have the christmas spirit, but it is accompanied by bittersweetness and longing. Thank you for sharing this and putting it so eloquently.

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  4. the holidays can be so lonely...i've definitely been there. I'm SO thankful to spend them with my hubby now...and every holiday for the rest of our lives.

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  5. This is all so true! After my ex-husband and I filed for divorce in February, I remember thinking to myself, I wonder what the holidays will be like. This year is already shaping up to be the best Christmas I've had in 7 years and I know part of it comes from the fact that I have someone I'm crazy about to share them with:) I loved this post!

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  6. My big break-up years ago happened right before Thanksgiving. The holidays that year were SO hard. I balled my eyes out at every Kays commercial or anytime I heard that Mariah Carey Christmas song. Now I love the holidays and spending theme with my husband, who is one million times the man that my ex was!

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  7. Your words completely made me smile! Thank you for sharing. In 2009, the guy I had hoped I would have around for the holidays disappeared on me before Thanksgiving. This year, the guy I was dating ended things just after Thanksgiving. The hardest part for me is that Thanksgiving/Christmas/my birthday are all within a stone's throw of each other, plus then it's Valentine's Day shortly after!

    But I know that my future husband is out there for me, and one of these days I'll look back on all my single years and be SO THANKFUL that it ended up being him. And I can't wait! :)

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  8. Wow! I really am not the only one who had a major break up before the holidays! It's not just a rumor that it happens a lot. Well, things happen for a reason. He wasn't the right one and when he does come along the holidays are the best.

    MoneyMaus-hope you find that special one soon!!

    Single or coupled up-hope everyone finds the magic in the holidays this year and enjoys it.

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  9. This is such a sweet story! I'm glad you found your man after such a rocky road - it was all worth it I'm sure.

    My God that Lexus ad gets me every year. I dream of getting a wrapped car in my driveway but I'd even settle for my husband actually looking at my Amazon.com wishlist and buying me a book I want. Every year I am disappointed! Sigh...I never learn. :)

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  10. I love to be loved all year long but especially during the holidays! :)

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