The wedding coordinator takes me to my starting place. The rest of the party enters from a different area and I have this perfect moment where I am alone with my thoughts. I peak out the door and see everyone sitting ahead of me and to the right waiting for the ceremony to begin. I hear the beautiful music we painstakingly selected and I can't help but cry. It is such a beautiful vision. This is my wedding. We did this. We planned this beautiful event and we brought all of these people together to celebrate. I can see the reception room through the floor to ceiling window to my left. It's all set up. My cake has been delivered and the chair covers look so pretty. I can't believe that I am standing here in this beautiful billowing white princess dress at my very own wedding about to walk down the aisle. This is a dream come true and I am so happy and excited that I get to do this. As my dad walks up I ask him to get me at tissue so I don't ruin my make up.
The processional music starts and without anyone seeing me I get to watch from the rear as my wedding unfolds right before my eyes. The grass is a beautiful bright green and the white arch stands out brighter then ever against the greenery. I look up and see that the gloomy skies have finally disappeared and been replaced by a beautiful yellow glow from the sun and a blue sky. Mj escorts his grandma down the aisle to her seat then goes back to get the mom's and escort them one on each arm. The bridal party walks down the aisle next two by two. Everyone has taken their place up front but the first song has not ended. Should we start? Not yet, it's almost over. There is a pause in the processional as we wait for song #2. Once it starts my dad and I take the longer walk coming from the rear left of the grassy area. We reach the straight away where the guests are standing and I smile at everyone and take my time as we move closer to the arch. I've been running around at a frantic pace all day long. I feel like I am on top of the world right now and I am enjoying every minute. I don't want to rush this part. As I get closer to Mj I focus on him. We smile at each other and make eye contact.
The musics stops and K begins to speak. He looks and sounds like a pro. I just know this is going to go well. We get to the part where each of us says our own vows to each other and the moment I turn to Mj and start speaking I begin to cry. My voice is wobbly. I have to pause and take a breath because I can no longer speak. I look up and see Mj tearing up. It's the first time I've ever seen him cry. I didn't think I ever would. He wipes his eyes and my voice is still wavering as I continue to speak. There is so much focus on the reception but the moment you stand in front of friends and family and speak your vows to each other is what the whole day is really all about. I am not really even aware that all eyes are on me and I don't care that my voice is wobbling and there are tears coming down my face. The nervousness about having everyone staring at me is gone. I didn't find these words on the internet-I found them in my heart. I thought about what Mj means to me and this is what came out. The words I speak are personal but I am not embarrassed to share them or the emotion that goes along with them in front of everyone. If you are in love you want to shout it from the rooftops-this is finally my chance.
Mj goes next and I look into his eyes while he speaks to me. You would never know he was up past midnight trying to figure out what to write. For a first timer K has done a wonderful job officiating and it goes without a hitch. He has to give us a little hint about what comes next at one point and I try to push the ring onto Mj's finger a bit sooner then I was supposed to at another but I doubt anyone but us noticed. He pronounces us man and wife and when we kiss I am so in the moment that there is nothing awkward or self conscious about it.
I almost walk away without grabbing my bouquet back from lil sis. On cue I hear the opening strains of our recessional song and we walk down the aisle arm and arm and into the special room reserved for us to have a private moment.
There is a bottle of champagne and some cheese and crackers waiting for us. I don't have to miss my cocktail hour goodies after all. Mj and I look at each other and I yell out "We did it! We pulled it off." We are giddy with excitement and relief. Now the pressure is totally off. Any stress I had earlier is gone and I am looking forward to having a great time at our reception. We drink champagne and revel in this moment. When Mj says he can't drink anymore champagne after only one glass I am confused. That is until I find out that his boys have been liquoring him up all along. He is already going on some beers, a couple shots and who knows what else while I barely had time to suck down 1 1/2 glasses of wine before pictures and the one glass of wine I guzzled down in the limo.
Our photographer has sent Jen to get us for pictures. It must be about 5 pm or very close to it. We are on schedule after a rush rush morning and we still have the rest of a very fun night ahead of us.