But it would sure be a heck of a lot easier if I was. I'm struggling a bit with this rehearsal dinner concept. What if we just went out to a restaurant and had everyone pay for their own dinner because we were simply tapped out financially? Not an option. We definitely want to treat our wedding party as a show of appreciation to them. To complicate matters there is out of town folks not part of the rehearsal that might want to come socialize with us before the big day. Can we pay for some and not all without being rude? What with expectations and all. I'm sorry to say it but I think that's the way it's going to have to be even though I feel a bit bad about it. It is a REHEARSAL DINNER after all so I am hoping that anyone not part of the rehearsal will not be offended if they have to pay their own way. If anyone thinks that's rude...well, I don't know what to tell 'em 'cause that is the best we can do. We have to plan on keeping it small and maybe try to meet up with some folks afterwards if we can. Or they can just come and pay. We have to do what is within our budget. If it's all or nothing then I'd rather not have one at all but I don't think totally missing out is the way to go.
Do I sound mean? Dare I say cheap? Oh well. I suppose it's just the stress associated with spending so much money on a single event and the frustration of getting ridiculous quotes just to sit our group down to dinner. I'm not trying to have a reception before the reception. Just a casual dinner with good food will do. I knew that even at best with all of my super powers of frugality kicked into high gear this would be an expensive undertaking and I don't regret it. We have saved, budgeted, planned, and I am thrilled with my efforts to keep this within a reasonable comfort zone. I am very much looking forward to the festivities. It's just that now that we are so close to the end and my STICKER SHOCK has just passed the 10K mark and growing the enormity of our spending is hitting me. Just when you are already stretched to the limit financially having already put down deposits with your vendors, several remaining balances are due very soon, and in the home stretch of paying off your venue you now have all of these extras to come up with on top of everything else.
Buying a house within 2 months of our wedding has surely exacerbated this situation. Whose bright idea was that anyways! We've been spending money right and left on that and everything in it alone. That was HUGE and we are going to have a new mortgage every month as a reminder but I don't regret that either. Some things-even very expensive things-are just worth it. Like this wedding. I am absolutely not made out of money but in the course of planning a wedding (and even in buying a house) you sort of get the feeling that you are supposed to be. There are so many extras financially that you must take on or feel you must do just because you wanted to have a certain something. Extraneous costs that just add up. You really get hit from all sides and it almost just makes you feel like only rich people should do this because it starts to feel like only they can reasonably afford it.
I know that some of our guests have costs associated with coming to our wedding and being in our wedding. Expenses to contend with precipitated by us. They are kind enough to travel and participate in our special day and I truly do appreciate it. As a host I WANT to treat them all to dinner as a show of appreciation-which technically we ARE doing at our reception-just not necessarily the night before. I wish I could pay for hotel reservations, airline tickets and bridesmaid dresses too.
When it comes down to it you either have the money or you don't. You either stretch your budget to make sure you fulfill all of your obligations or you don't. Let's just say I foresee a lot of stretching coming up in the near future. At least I'm already warmed up. I might be willing to stretch it but I WON'T break it.