Skin Disaster

Thursday night huge zit appeared on my face. Well, not so much just a zit, but a huge mound that sort of has taken over the upper right quadrant of my face above my eyebrow. So, of course I am exaggerating a bit as I tend to do when it comes to this, but still. I stare at it trying to decide if I should squeeze it or leave it alone. Well, rather then leaving bad enough alone I go ahead and squeeze and I only made it worse. I even put toothpaste on it because I heard that was supposed to help with inflammation but it stung so much I had to get out of bed and wipe it off! So much for my home remedy. I really don't need this right now with my casting coming up.

I'd always had perfect skin. I didn't get my first real zit until well into my twenties. I remember not even knowing how to pop it or what to do about it. So, it was just a zit here and there after that until about 2004. Suddenly my skin is raging with horrible what I am told is "hormonal" type acne. They showed up mostly along my jaw line. I got divorced the following year and it continued. I was dating for the first time and modeling. I felt positively shameful about the way my skin was looking. It was so embarrassing especially when I'd barely had so much as a zit before.


I tried Proactive and I ended up with some kind of rashy type reaction so I sent it back. I tried lemon juice, all kinds of different acne products, and even got a prescription creme but nothing seemed to really help. Eventually it just seemed to clear up on it's own and my skin got perfect again making me think all of that was behind me. Until about October of last year. It started with just some break outs here and there and then the deeper ones on my jawline began to show up again, although it's not been nearly as bad as the first time this happened. I started taking the pill again last month and I think it may be helping some but it seems to vary from one day to the next. I have still not been able to find a pattern to all of this. When I had the problem the first time I'd been on the pill for years. The only change I can think of is that I did start taking anti depressants around that time but I haven't taken those for years now so that can't explain this re occurrence if had anything to do with it at all in the first place. I also thought maybe my eating habits had something to do with it because that was around the time when I'd dropped to my lowest weight and my diet was horrible. I just wish this would go away already.

I want my skin to be at it's best for the Joe's Jeans casting and photo shoot. So I have about 5 days to make it happen. My wonderful fiance sent me to the spa again today. He knows how upset I get when my skin isn't clear and I think he just wants me to feel better. I woke up early, cleaned house and headed to my appointment. I love it there. As soon as I walk in I feel relaxed and calm. The facial and massage felt so good.


Let's hope it helps because need to feel totally confident this week. I'll be doing spot treatments, mud masks, not wearing a stitch of make up and whatever else I can to take really good care of my skin until then. What I really want is to have my perfect skin back for good but for now I'll settle for getting it back for just two days. This Thursday and Friday....pretty please.