Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Kiss Me Through The Phone
I spend my lunch breaks in my car talking to MJ before he goes to bed. Because of the nine hour time difference that is really the only time we get to talk during the work week. He tells me I have put him on restriction but I didn't really have a choice. Just this month we have cut down to Mon, Wed, Fri for an hour instead of five days a week because I only have 1000 minutes that can be used outside of nights and weekends and the numbers just weren't adding up. I feel like something is missing on the days I wake up in the morning and know that I won't be talking to him. I considered just talking for 30 minutes daily but once I have him on the phone that feels way to short and it's hard for me say good bye, until I have to.
We basically have a long distance relationships right now so the phone has become our primary means of communication. It's great and all but the phone really does have it's limits. Telling him about my day or what's going on in my life day after day on the phone can get old and it's not because I don't love him or because I don't want to talk to him. There is a whole element of non verbal communication that is totally missing when all you get to do is talk on the phone. So much gets lost in translation. I'll mention something and he'll have no clue what I'm talking about even though I told him about it just a few days before. He'll say something and I can't hear him because of poor reception or maybe his voice is too low. I'll say something and he says "what?" so I have to repeat everything twice. I'll deliver what is essentially a monologue about one thing or another and I can't really be sure if he's heard a word I've said. After this happens over and over again I begin to feel that he is either tired, not paying attention, or I am boring him to death. I have no idea which because I CANT SEE HIM. Suddenly, I am feeling irritable and I don't feel like talking anymore. Then, I feel like the wicked witch of the West because this is my fiance, I love him dearly, and even as irritable as I am feeling I just want to hear his voice. He has been so wonderful to me throughout this separation. During the extremely busy pre deployment trainings and traveling he was working 7 days a week but he always made time for me. Since he's been overseas I have never had to wonder if he'll call me, if he misses me or if he's thinking about me because he has been so great about being right there on the phone telling me. He lets me run my mouth about anything and everything for hours on end without complaint. Sometimes if he wakes up in the middle of the night (afternoon or evening my time) he'll call just to hear my voice and say "I love you." He just gets it that I need to hear from him and he does it willingly.
I am really am lucky and grateful to be able to talk to my deployed soldier as much as I do and I am even luckier that my deployed soldier is as thoughtful as he is. So, for now the hour long lunch break phone conversations and weekend Cyber Dates are here to stay. When he gets home we can NOT talk on the phone all we want because we'll be talking and doing all kinds of other things...up close and personal!
XOXO CeCe at 4:25 PM