It was the perfect end to a long and exhausting week. I felt more rested yesterday during that 1 1/2 hours then I have all week and it's because I was at the spa. Mood lighting, calming music, and ice cold lemon water lulled me into a state of relaxation that I could not get in sleep. The moment I slipped on that white robe and sat in the waiting room all of the fatigue from the week started melting away. The European Facial and the Swedish Massage were heavenly. I walked out of there feeling invigorated.
When I tell people I have insomnia a lot of them will say "oh yeah, I couldn't sleep last night either", offer me all kinds of sleep tips or ask if I have been anxious or stressed lately. They don't understand that it's not just one night here or one night there. It is an overwhelming recurring pattern of lack of sleep for sometimes days on end that leave me so tired that I feel ill. If it were one night here or there I could tolerate it but it's way more then that. They also don't understand that nothing helps and there is no pattern. The bedtime ritual, warm milk, reading before bed or going to the gym changes nothing. When I am in the throes of insomnia there is almost no relief. I have insomnia-I simply cannot sleep. I finally got a prescription sleeping pill and sadly that only helped a little. For most of the week I was practically falling asleep at my desk by day but when my head hit the pillow at night sleep would not come. I lay there for hours and maybe drifted off a little here or there but not enough to feel rested when I get out of bed in the morning. Usually I do better on the weekends but Friday and Saturday were still mostly sleepless and then I was up at 7 am. I can only hope that the cycle will end soon.
At any rate my fiance will be here in three days and I will be on vacation!! I only have two more work days to get through. I need this time to refresh. I am feeling ultra productive because I had my laundry done, house cleaned, and oil changed all by noon. They are all things I have a tendency to procrastinate on lately but feel so good about doing once I finally get them done. The only thing left is grocery shopping and giving my fiance a big huge hug and kiss the minute I lay eyes on him. I can't wait.