Current mood: hopeful
I step out of my car with my headshots and sides in hand and begin to walk down the block. I look up and see the famed HOLLYWOOD sign nestled in the hills asserting its presence even through the hazy clouds that have completely blotted out the sun on this gray day. With that sight looming over me I am immediately struck by where I am and what I am doing at that very moment. I am in LA the city of dreams on my way to a film audition. I continue down Santa Monica Ave and pass a theatre with headshots of the starring actors posted in the window. In their eyes I see the dreams and the hopes that they, like every other actor carries inside of them. I can see myself in their faces staring back at me. The glass door where my audition is has signs taped to it announcing auditions for mine and various other projects. I open the door and find myself in a dimly lit foyer with a steep staircase leading to a second floor. I make my way up the creaky stairs and see signs asking for quiet because of ongoing acting classes. I walk down the long dark hall and look for the ever present sign in sheet that will announce my arrival. I catch a glimpse of a kitchen set up in one room with an instructor up front talking about "choices" to be made when doing a scene. I sit in one of the battered chairs and read over my sides. There is another actor pacing in uneven circles down the hallway doing the same and another actress sits in a chair awaiting her turn. A door opens and an actress comes out while the one waiting in the chair goes in. I glance at her curiously without wanting her to know that I am doing so, and I get the feeling she is doing the same to me. I compare myself to her and at the same time, wonder how her audition went. Did the director like her? What edge might she have over me? After all she is my competition.
When it's my turn, the director comes out and shakes my hand and in I go. I am not nervous. I have practiced my lines, I know them by heart, and I feel as prepared as I can be. Inside is a small room with theatre like seating and a small stage at the front. There is a video camera set up on a tri pod facing the stage and so I immediately know where my mark will be. I hand him my headshot and stand on the stage and wait for instructions. I am told to slate my name, age range, and role first and am then given a bit of a background on the scene. There is another actor there that will read with me. After my slate I walk to one side of the room and wait for my cue. Action....and so I begin. I slip into another character and begin to imagine what I think "she" would be thinking at each moment so that this characters emotions will show on my face and project in my tone of voice. There are two scenes, and I am glad that the director has allowed me to do each one twice. After each scene he gives some feedback and we repeat the scene with me hoping that I have made the adjustments in my reading that have been requested. After we are done I thank the other actor and the director thanks me for coming. He says, "I'll be in touch" and I wonder if he really means it.
As I retrace my steps down the dark hall my mind is already replaying every moment of the audition in my head. Second guessing every choice I made in the scene, every tone, every line and just hoping that it was enough. I feel good though. I didn't miss a single line and I know I did the best I could. That is all I can ask for. As I exit the building another hopeful walks in. Whether I am right for the part or not is not my decision, but as long as I did my best I can walk away and feel ok with that. The next day I get a call back. I am still in the running which is good, but I know it's a long shot. I am not the only girl hoping for this role. I will await the next set of sides, rehearse my lines, and when the time comes repeat this process all over again.....and hope for the best.